Journal Entry - Senses
It’s been a restless few nights. I was hoping for some peace at last, but it did not come. Drowned in memories, I failed to bring myself into the arms of sleep. Wrapped in my blanket, I laid awake, with my eyes closed, thinking of times long gone.
I guess I never realized my loneliness. Ever since my wife dissapeared, I’ve been feeling as if a part of me died. I think Deforest was right when he told me she’s dead. Somehow I can feel it, but part of me tries to deny it. I don’t want to let go. But if I am to serve my Goddess under my new position, I would better clear my soul. Harboring chaotic feelings might cloud my judgement and that would be pretty bad.
There is no solace at the Wander’s Inn, only the daily turmoil. I really envy Mareena and Mac … they’ve built a family, a dynasty one might say. In their own way, they’ve passed the burden of protecting Syree to us, the new generation. I really hope we can live up to their name.
Lately both Mareena and Dark Matter have been trying to convince me to invest in some new equipment. Mareena said I’d need a Ring of Life, Dark Matter considered new weaponry. Well, I have my new blade that Mareena imbued with poison, but I can’t really go out and brag about that, even though I am entitled to using this. I do, however, have the blueprints of that hellsteel double-bladed staff that Daredevil designed for me. Two retractable longsword blades made from hellsteel, reinforced oak shaft, double release on a twist. that would make a perfect blade, not to mention concealable. As for the Ring of Life … I think my Amulet of Life Protection is doing a pretty good job so far.
Oh … and I met Christopher again … he’s bragging around with his appointment as Del’s First. I don’t want to be misunderstood but Chris is no Ezra. Have Del’s standards fallen so much? I mean … Chris behaves more like a jester than the First Knight for the Goddess of Demonkin. I don’t really know. Maybe he’s changed, but it certainly doesn’t appear so. Maybe on a level so deep … that’s invisible. I guess I’ll live and see.